Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Everybody remembers their first time

Success....I turned another unsuspected woman into a rambling idiot over a fictional vampire. I have been receiving texts from T-Rex for the last 3 days.

" Fuck, I cant stop reading"

" I am going to to beat up my husband with my vagina tonight, cause of Edward."

The saddest one of all " I only have 50 pages left, I don't want it to end"


We have all been there, and luckily for her she still has 3 books to read. But remember those days of aimlessly walking through your day wondering, What in the shit is wrong with me? Why do I feel so empty inside...why did I leave the groceries in the car for 3 days? No one expects this to happen, no one expects to have a full on withdrawal over a fictionally Delicious vampire. So what in the crap are we suppose to do? We turn to the next best thing, RSexy....

Here is the kicker for T-Rex. She has no idea who or what Robert Pattinson looks like or is, she is about to be shot straight out of her panties and reek havoc on her vibrator once she catches sight of this dude.

See, T-rex isn't one who exactly has her finger on the pulse of pop culture, but she will have her finger on something after I hand her over my personal prized possession, my signed by Catherine Hardwicke copy of Twilight the movie. Imagine that? Can you actually imagine being introduced to Twilight a week ago , and then RSexy a week after that? Holy hell, the luck this woman is embarking on is unparallelled, its like winning the lottery, for your vagina

Um...panty dropper?

So tonight while we drink Coronas I will pass on yet another piece of the Twilight puzzle and watch her squirm while she holds her first picture of Robert Pattinson in her hand. It would be inappropriate for her to try anything rash in front of a bunch of grown woman, but with enough drinks she might just try to hump the DVD.

7 comments:

Jenny Jerkface said...

I am going to to beat up my husband with my vagina tonight, cause of Edward

That is priceless! And if she hasn't seen Robward yet, her husband is going to be in BIG trouble.

Fire Crotch said...

Just read a thing on EW.com about shows you wish you could experience again for the first time...reading these books is just like that. Gawd, awesome. Your friend is one lucky bitch.

Ms. M said...

"she is about to be shot straight out of her panties and reek havoc on her vibrator once she catches sight of this dude"...LMFAO!!!

Undercover Twilighter said...

Let's hope she wraps up that movie before going crazy on it. I would hate for you to get your signed copy back all smeared and unreadable. For shame!!

Aimee said...

Here's to being a twi-virgin again! Hope she enjoys it.. ROFLMAO!

Latchkey Wife said...

OMFG! I love you! "I am going to to beat up my husband with my vagina tonight, cause of Edward." Beautiful, I think you might be my hero... and then you come up with "she is about to be shot straight out of her panties and reek havoc on her vibrator once she catches sight of this dude" - I'm pissing my pants right now!

Like I've said before... sometimes I wish for short-term memory loss just so I can experience it for the first time over and over again!!

Snarkier Than You said...

Wait until she gets to the twiporn - oh brother is he in trouble...